Pigeons in flight

About this: I’ve included the draft, that I knocked out for this. Well I say draft, it’s a jotting really it is quite interesting to hang on to keep a record of the process of writing verse though. The title is a reference to the great John Shuttleworth.

peroxide flaxen plumes iridescent in morning light 14
nature formed your curves to ease saw sight 9 -10
iron forged with lust, tempered with tender tongues
gasped coos and calls to rasp the lungs
the serpent we choke drown and dowse
till timid mouse treads the boards of satis house
your fetters coiled in this sublime suffusion
wont save my soul from disillusion
my prayer whispered so that I might
stem your tears, assuage your flight

Update:

I’ve revisited this draft a few times but I kept blanking on it, today, 5th November 2013, I worked up a little more perseverance and came up with something I’m reasonably happy with. I really liked the suffusion/disillusion rhyme but those lines in the draft are so cringmaking that they made laugh when I wrote them. The amended lines work a bit better here, that particular rhyme helps to halt the pace of the single syllable endings above it. I’d still quite like to extend the antipen though, it’s just that it’s giving me a bit of trouble.

Pigeons in flight

Peroxide flaxen plumes iridescent in morning light
Nature formed her curves to ease saw sight
Iron forged with lust, tempered with a tender tongue
Cries, gasps, voiced so fierce they rasp the lung
In a tepid pool this urging they will not dowse
It’s scolding waters passions need to rouse
In unity of purpose reptilian minds are bound
As they run the race to crest the sacred mound
A myriad of toil and vigour spent
No labour too arduous to vent…

Her fetters — clinging amid the humid coil of our suffusion
Cant save this soul from disillusion
My prayer whispered so that I might
Stem your tears, assuage your flight

Advertisements

~ by deadspidereye on November 7, 2013.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: